I am fully aware that this is the goal; that this is the overall objective. However, there is absolutely no possible way to guarantee this outcome each and every time.
That means we need to define "success" in the context of a surrogacy journey. "Success" is defined by Dictionary.com as "the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals". That definition would lead me back to saying a "successful" journey is one where the IPs go home with a baby. So, I guess we need to re-define "success".
A surrogacy journey has multiple diverse moving parts. And the job of a surrogacy coordinator is to make sure that these multiple diverse moving parts function in harmony. As surrogacy coordinators, we are responsible for making sure that the parts of the process fit together well. As surrogacy coordinators, we are responsible for making sure that we utilize the best parts available. It is our responsibility to make sure that the parts are reliable, state-of-the-art, relevant and optimal.
When Joey and I began the process of creating IPC, we came to a fork in the road. We were in a situation where the surrogacy facilitator that we had been involved with personally and professionally (PlanteHospital.com, LLC) was doing things in an extremely unprofessional, unethical and illegal manner. But we had a pregnant surrogate. So our choice was to blow the whistle and warn all of the other PH IPs so that they could take action that was appropriate to protect themselves at the risk of our own surrogacy journey or keep quiet and protect our surrogacy arrangement at the enormous expense of the hopes and dreams of the other IPs.
We made the choice to "blow the whistle" and although that was really stressful, I have never been sorry!
And we have learned that "surrogacy success" does not mean a "take home baby".
Here is the most extreme example that I know of (and these IPs have graciously given me permission to share their story)...
So they went to India and used the facilitator mentioned above. They ended up with a pregnant surrogate who delivered a healthy baby girl. They paid all of their fees on time and participated in the process all along the way to the best of their ability. But when they arrived in India for baby pick up, they discovered the surrogacy contracts were not in order (as they had paid for and been told). So as they stood in the hospital hallway on one side of the door listening to their little girl cry and scream, they were unable to comfort or assist her because their facilitator had not fully performed their duty. They did not have the appropriate paperwork. They were not allowed to care for their little girl. They ended up paying twice (and actually, maybe even three times - I'm not sure) for the appropriate surrogacy contracts to be created and approved before they were allowed access to their little girl. So you see...just the fact that they were blessed with a precious baby girl doesn't mean that their surrogacy journey was a "success".
At IPC we are going to define surrogacy success as this: Complete and honest communication at every stage of the process. Prompt and timely response to each and every request for information/service. And utilization of the most state-of-the-art technology in order to ensure that each IP knows that they had the 'best shot'. We define success as knowing that each of our clients were given the most perfect opportunity possible to conceive a child and begin their family.
And at that point, when we hand it over to God or Mother Nature, we then accept the role of messenger...delivering the news of the final result, knowing we did everything in our ability to optimize the outcome...
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